Thursday, November 30, 2006

someone who is far way is sometimes much nearer that someone who is at hand.

...featuring my alter ego @ 11:46 PM

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Sampai Menutup Mata - Acha Septriasa

the lyrics is too deep and meaningful to me that I did a simple translation for those who do not understand Bahasa Indonesia, or to put it simply, the malay language. anyone with a better version, don't hesitate to enlighten me please.

Dew in the wee morning hours
Spreads the scent of hope
The seconds I count
Is it time I go?

Oh God I love him
Please give me life
I will never hurt him
Punish me when that occurs

I don't easily love somebody
I dont easily confess I'm loving
I don't easily say
I fall in love

My song is just for love
My isolation is just for you
No lies, I swear I'm loving
Till I close my eyes
My love is till I close my eyes

Oh God I love him
Please give me life
I won't hurt him
Punish me when that occurs

(Repeat chorus)

I'm marvelled at how I can listen to a song I like, over and over again without getting sick of it.

moreover, this song kind of reflects how I feel and what I'm like.

it's not easy and I don't usually say "I love you" because to me, it gives a funny formal (?) quality I'm not used to. and my dear one will know that I don't like to be mushy!

as much as you try not to hurt your loves ones, you sometimes do, without you realising it. and if I were to let God punish me whenever I hurt him, I guess I would be dead by now.

hmm. bad example. I'm just too lazy to come up with anything more ornate yet plausible. haha.

anyway, do you see the uncanny resemblance between Irwansyah and Ricardo Kaka? I do! look at the hair, the smile, the physique! similar right? just that I think Kaka is the hotter one though. hehehe.

oh! and Acha resembles Kaka's wife... what's her name? both are teenagers, have the same long hair, their body shape and all that are similar too.

such perfect couples both of them.

to my dear one, till I close my eyes...

...featuring my alter ego @ 7:29 PM

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I am in deep shit! really deep shit!

luckily I saw Cindy's nick on MSN.

1500 word essay to be submitted on 1st December.

"Discuss the workings of our brain as to our consciousness in relation to the nervous system." ????!!!!!??????

I'm clueless about this la k.

and I haven't started on it! look what's today's date!

how could I ever in the world forget about this freaking essay.

damn it's gonna be sleepness nights for me in the next 3 fucking short days.

flu. sore throat. ulcer in my mouth.

thank you very much.

...featuring my alter ego @ 12:59 AM

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

what is intended to be good for us is really just frigid, and I'll let time take its toll, as I've promised myself that I'll put her before you if anything were to happen.

sure, it gives you rights to make demands of me, in any capacity you find me failing. but when sacrifices have to be made, only one person's happiness matters.

and the truth is, the past could not so easily be left behind. but you shouldn't care about those damn people. I don't care about them too. what matters to me is you; don't speak to me anymore about what happened then because with you, I cannot be who I was. I'm not expecting anything from you but your understanding. I had confessed to you, exposing not simply what I had done, but who I was, my faults, my mistakes. start fresh, it's all I want. it'll be like resetting my image although I don't think I have it in me to be what everyone else wants.

you're right. I always don't talk to you rightly. like yesterday, the fact that I had called you by that name was because you had gone out of your bloody mind. the anger in me was rising, taking full control, an intensity of feeling I'd never known before, a demon stronger than lust or love, and that word just shot out of my mouth.

I think what you're doing to yourself now might throw me over the edge. whatever is happening outside, you must not let it sink into your flesh. do not punish your body for what it cannot control or else I will not forgive myself.

anyway, in the morning yesterday, I rose earlier than usual, wept after putting down the phone, slept and woke up again with eyes like golf balls.

nevertheless I still went out to accompany my cousin sister. we cruised over to bugis and town in search of one freaking skirt at Fox. it was a rather stressful moment for me as I was shuttling between comforting her when it was out of stock at most stores, and hogging my handphone, attending to the psychosomatic nature of man.

albeit bringing along my digicam, I couldn't really bother with them images. I was too stressed out dealing with the said persons. thus, it made me do something I never thought of doing again.

stop blackmailing me k. you know I do.

...featuring my alter ego @ 1:45 AM

Saturday, November 18, 2006

finally I can have the luxury of time to catch up on my reading.

the recently ended examination has kept me away from any other books except the one titled Health Psychology. a huge sigh of relief too that I've completed the essay which is due in a week's time. it's always a pleasure to prepare your work in advance.

yet it has crossed my mind that the distinctions I got for my essays or my overall grade do not even matter to you because your perception of what I'm studying now will not change. but I'm persevering because I'm studying for my future, not so much for yours. from now onwards, I am going to use reverse psychology whenever you talk to me about this.

You: your school is for unsuccessful people.
Me: that's exactly what I'm thinking too. I must be unsuccessful and that's the reason why I'm here.

You: now the one who wins the "Cleverest Among Your Relatives" award is so and so.
Me: now that you mention it, I'm not the cleverest anymore and really, I cannot outwin so and so whose points are of polytechnic standard.

BLEARGH. maybe I will puke if I were to say something like the above. nevertheless, I proceed undaunted!

anyway, this book I'm currently reading is very literature-ish. I still manage to read in between the lines although the last time I studied an english literature text was three years ago.

I still prefer sastera melayu though. =)

to distill my reasoning to the purest form, malay is my native language and I realise the importance of getting in touch with my malay roots. in this modernizing world where malay kids are groomed to speak engrish, oops, english at home, bahasa melayu has masked and its value has decreased.

surely we malays sometimes find that it's harder to speak proper malay than to speak proper english, no?

it is in fact harder to say "saya hendak makan" than "I want to eat".

on another note, I'm thinking if I should continue working at CSC or look for other jobs.

...featuring my alter ego @ 2:22 PM

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Step Up - Samantha Jade

(Step Step Step Up)
This is somethin for the radio
(Step Step Step Up)
This is somethin for the radio
(Step Step Step Up)
This is somethin for the radio
(Step Step Step Up)

Boy, no matter what we go through
You step up I'll step up too
It don't matter what the haters say
As long as you are my boo
And no matter how hard it gets
This love will have no regrets
As long as when we steppin on the dancefloor
It's me and you

Feel the rhythm of the beat, that's my heart
Cupid shot me with the arrow from the start
And you know that it's your love that's got me trapped
Everytime I try to leave you bring me back
So much water at times I cried a river
You dried my eyes and brought me back to laughter
And when I lay next to you I wanna wake up
And when I break up it's only to make up


If we don't step up we'll loose our groove
So confused don't know which way to move
Pull my hand and let me know you feel me too
Look into my eyes and tell me baby I love you
Never get wet cuz I'll be your umbrella
We can make it through any kind of weather
You step up I'll step up boy
Cuz I'm tryin to be with you forever


When I step in a place, I feel my feet
Lifting from underneath
You grab my hands, spin me round
And right before I fall
You catch me and you say
Baby, it'll be okay
Just look into my eyes
And we will make another day


Step Up
This is somethin for the radio
(Step Step Step Up)
This is somethin for the radio
This is somethin for the radio
(Step Step Step Up)


damn. great movie with great soundtracks with great dance moves. I'm loving it.

...featuring my alter ego @ 5:07 PM

Monday, November 13, 2006

went to catch two movies for two days consecutively.

on Sunday, the boyfriend and I caught Step Up which is a movie about love and dance. the movie's soundtracks are awesome! while sitting in the cinema, you may just feel like getting up on your feet and dance to the songs. it's that awesome if I may add. don't believe? listen to this.

and for those who have not gone clubbing before, this movie will inspire you to club. haha. it shows you the magic and beauty of dance la. the above song is definitely sexier when accompanied by the dance. it doesn't hurt also that my dear Channing Tatum is superdivinegloriously hot! Jenna Dewan is sooo gorgeous to boot.

at least I have a reason to be jealous over her right?

on Monday we went to the movies again. we watched The Covenant this time round. again, the actors are all so hot. not the actress though. for an ang moh standard, Laura Ramsey is not so hot in my opinion. anyway the actor and actress do affect my decision in choosing a movie. I didn't have an idea what the movie was about then as we were deciding on a not-so-bad movie which was starting as early as we arrived there. it was a little bad afterall. I'd rather go for movies which are more credible than those which showcase supernatural powers.

bored while waiting for him to fetch me, thus the narcissism.

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came late, but still can smile. tsk.

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the end.

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...featuring my alter ego @ 8:41 PM

Thursday, November 09, 2006

semenjak dua menjak ni aku tengok makin ramai pulak yang ambil gambar secara upclose. I guess my idea must be working - people want assurance whether or not they have a pretty or handsome face. heh.

I was listening to the radio earlier and this female caller was telling everyone on air that some stranger came up to her and told her she's pretty.

after she had hung up the phone another female called and lashed back at the said person, intentionally mentioning that SHE shouldn't be overconfident.

the deejay on shift then posed this question: why do females frequently get jealous whenever they see someone prettier than them or they surely have something to say whenever other females self-proclaim that they are pretty.

as I am typing this, thoughts of a certain hamba Allah galvanised me. I suddenly wonder why I should be so-called jealous when I, and most other people, know she can't hold a candle to me. maybe external reasons play a part, I'm not sure.

enough ranting, my days are getting better and better. and I don't get angry or irritated as often. someone should feel relieved.

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both the man and the boy knew how to make their faces more attractive... not.

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I hereby declare that I look fat in blue.

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...featuring my alter ego @ 10:05 PM

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

so last Saturday we had this crazy idea to take a close up picture of ourselves to really determine whether we are pretty or not.

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erm, no comments please.

thank God my weekends were rather well-spent or else I'd again be blaming this raya for being as mundane as my blog.

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on Sunday, went to his sister's open house.

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as well as my aunt's open house.

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I realised the subsequent photos were more blurred so rather than postng them up, I will broadcast the videos instead.

a hari raya song for all, complete with the joget for entertainment purposes.

it was also a hari raya cum birthday celebration for my cousin, Ana. a bit touching, this one, as compared to the previous zany video.

that's about all. you've been waiting for this entry right, dear?

...featuring my alter ego @ 2:00 AM

Saturday, November 04, 2006

raya this time is as mundane as my blog. I've not been out celebrating the festive month, or so I feel. later the family will be visiting the relatives and it's only the fourth time we're out raya-ing. furthermore, whenever people call up to express their intention of going to my house, my mother will tell them not to, either because the house is already full of people or that we're going out.

it doesn't help that my collection now amounts to a miserable 14 buckeroos.

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...featuring my alter ego @ 2:07 PM