Wednesday, September 27, 2006

I've been having bad sleeping problems.

so bad that they are quite worthy of attention.

as usual I couldn't sleep last night and only slumbered at around 3am. woke up to eat an hour later due to my mother's high-pitched sing-song wake-up call.

sungguh membingitkan!

after my pre-dawn meal, I kept tossing and turning in bed and finally fell asleep at 7am, keeping in mind that I'll be waking up two hours later to get ready for work.

when it was time, Shaheed called but I didn't answer his call the first few times because I was bloody damn fucking sleepy. although the flesh was weak, the mind was willing so I still got up.

some more it was my first day taking real orders today. but I shan't elaborate on that because it wasn't a good experience due to external and internal factors.

teringat aku time belajar Social Studies dulu. hahaha.

anyway, the internal factor first. my period is around the corner and quite uniquely for me, I'll already start to display the symptoms of a premenstrual female even before my period is due.

and the only predictable behavioural trait during these dark days is overreaction to any given situation, whether it be with tears, fits of hysteria, anger or violence. those who know me well enough will know that whenever I'm angry, annoyed or anything of that sort, my temper will be uncontrollable. by then I won't be the normal, sweet and nice me anymore.

and the external factor was that some people were showing me their attitude. I feel sorry for them because they were showing their respective APs to the wrong person la eh. what's with guys and egotism and what's with girls and big mouth?

I swear my mood is still not too good right now. the handphone is switched off. the home calls are left unanswered. I'm keeping a distance from everyone lest they be my victims for venting my anger.

it's the fasting month but I still can't get hold of my emotions. I knew it wasn't right and it was useless to cry, but I cried a little anyway.

...featuring my alter ego @ 8:49 PM

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

work was good, rather, training was good because...
  1. I broke-fast at my workplace on my first day there.
  2. I was provided with free pizza and garlic bread by the trainer.
  3. I had a one-on-one coaching since the other fella didn't want to accept the job, or so I heard from the telephone conversation.
  4. abang Annuar was being extremely nice from the moment he saw me till it was time for me to leave.
  5. I kept getting praised for being a fast learner.

but the nice scenes at work were tarnished when...

  1. I saw many minahs were going to start work also.
  2. minah yang tak puasa tanpa segan silunya minum air tin depan aku. then she was shouting at her friend across her that she lied to her mom that she was fasting that day. macam bangga lah tak puasa, cool dan happening gitu. eeww! menyampah!
  3. when I was about to start training, two malay guys zoomed in. sekali one of them was Muzzafar la! that casanova!
  4. as if that sounds bad enough, he then attempted to flirt with me. whatever he said to me or asked, my replies were all monosyllabic. excuse me, playboy, it's not as if I'd just known you yesterday.
  5. the girls in the call room were staring at me - like what, was there anything that was missing in me?

oh, and the downside to everything was that I didn't get to catch Singapore Idol la. supposedly the manager told me that training will commence on Wednesday. apasal boleh jadi semalam pulak sak. bodoh mangkok betul. baru nak tengok Taufik Batisah, and of course Hady Mirza. by the way, thanks eh Singapore for not being idiots and vote for the wrong person to be our SI.

...featuring my alter ego @ 5:36 AM

Saturday, September 23, 2006

going for the interview at customer service Pizza Hut later. and then meeting up with the bf. yay. missing him already although we just met a few hours ago.

I can't bloody wait to start working and have my own cash. mmm, cash. it's a good word. I like the way it sounds, and I like the way it feels. it's hard currency. it's control. it's power in its most primal form. when I hear people getting their pay and shopping their asses out, I very jealous tau.

so the fasting month starts tomorrow. it's time to disco. eh salah, time to reflect on your wrongdoings la.

...featuring my alter ego @ 1:07 PM

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

To: Kutti

my kutti, this is the truth. when I first looked at you I knew there was something in you and I just thought of giving it a try and take you as my girl. I just wanted to forget about my Mystery Girl and carry on with life. but I made you my girl not just to forget her but also to try to love you and make you my long-time girlfriend. I never did thought I would really love you this fast. the way you are has really made me fall for you. now I really love you...

...featuring my alter ego @ 9:54 PM

I want jet black hair!

not just black, but jet black.

because coloured hair is becoming too boring that I feel every Singaporean woman has the same typical brownish/blonde dyed hair.

moreover, I presume I would look good with jet black hair as it'll contrast my fair skin (just like how I look good in jet black, ok, black clothings).

I am further tempted to have jet black hair after seeing two gorgeous women who are fair-skinned and yes, who have jet black hair.

see Miss Japan 2006...

isn't that fabulous??

see also Siti Nurhaliza's current hair colour.

wah I can't wait to blacken mine already. hehe.

...featuring my alter ego @ 2:28 PM

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

since this website suggests that I resemble the following celebrities, I assume I am gorgeous. hahahahaha. macam betul je.

the percentage reads that I most look like Hilary. but I still want to look as close to Keira as possible can?

...featuring my alter ego @ 12:51 PM

Monday, September 11, 2006

I know that blogging makes me learn a lot - which is the reason why I've been blogging for almost five years already.

but I also know that whenever I blog, I reveal something of myself. which, for me, is always too much.

that can be lethal, no?

...featuring my alter ego @ 12:58 PM

Monday, September 04, 2006

been suffering from a mild illness the past three days. he'll be coming to visit me after work. hehe. so sweet la. told him not to come if he's tired but since he persisted with his entreaties, I surrendered. haha. like what Joy Enriquez says, "how can I not love you?"

with him, I've found the definition of happiness (I'm always searching for definitions anyway). happiness is to be with the one. and to be the only one for the other. love's a miracle. a way of seeing someone... suffused by light. love's an extra dimension to sight. it gives a light that only the loved one seems to have. and only the lover sees. that's how I see... Shaheed.

hehe swerving away from the mushyness, my father promised to buy me a good, expensive watch since the cheap ones often do not last long. I'm thinking of Swatch - Hidden Secrets. looks elegant yet sporty. I wonder if it's in stock. if it is I definitely must get it. been going out without a watch nowadays. so uncomfortable la.

...featuring my alter ego @ 3:12 PM