Wednesday, September 28, 2005

man, I pity myself for getting to know someone like you.

I've been skimming through websites of certain JCs. if I'm not mistaken, students will have to choose 12 JCs of their choice for the 3-month course and subsequently for after the 'O' levels. I'd probably choose colleges in the north zone since my current school is located in the west. it's just a transition kind of thing lah. but I realise that schools in the north are mostly the top schools. like I can make it like that. haha. but I'm pretty decided on taking Arts rather than Sciences because I've come to terms that alphabets coordinate better with me than numbers do. anyways, I shall just leave that till the 'O' level results are out.

talking about dreams, I suddenly remembered that when I was younger, I dreamt to be not a teacher, not a doctor and not a lawyer, but a university lecturer. muahahahahaha. that dream is kind of unreachable now, isn't it? oh and I also dreamt to be a writer. a journalist to be precise, so that I get the opportunity to travel around the world while witnessing the lives of diverse people. who knows, I might be posted to Liverpool to interview the gaffer or the players! man, that would be a dream come true. =)

but in order to achieve what I want, I have to work hard. really, really hard even if that means I have to shove boys aside till I'm 19. hey, I've succeeded in doing that for 2 years already ok.

...featuring my alter ego @ 5:35 PM

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

I think there is bad bloody ties between me and Mathematics. we just cannot relate to each other. THANK you for eating away my self-esteem.

social studies was a shocker. got pretty good results when I had expected for the worst. so what did I waste my time worrying for?

english, malay and malay literature really hampered me. I deem I could have done so much better although they are all in the range of A2 to B4.

but the good thing is that I'm a self-motivator. whatever that is done cannot be undone. I still believe in finishing my final lap and winning the race.

anyways, what are my dreams?

...featuring my alter ego @ 2:44 PM

Monday, September 26, 2005

went to Kota Tinggi followed by Mini Kelantan yesterday. I only had about 4 hours of sleep because mom so eagerly woke me up at 5 plus. ghairah lah katakan. hehe. so ocassionally my head felt a bit funny, like there was a tennis ball stuffed inside it. it felt spack.

we had our breakfast first. I started extolling the wonderful roti prata for which the coffee shop near Kota Tinggi was famous. the moment we reached at our destination, everyone except Iqah, Wani and myself, slowly made their way into the water. we decided not to bathe because I, for once, did not want to miss out in capturing God's beautiful creations and if I were to walk in one direction, Wani and Iqah would follow suit. hehe. I thought the person having the most fun was Aniq. it was his second time visiting the place after his first a week ago. =)

it was only 0900 hours then but there were already many visitors. a pleasing portrait , I thought: a man, his wife, many children, out at the gigantic, gorgeous waterfalls. incidents whereby mat-mat Malaysia used futile pick-up lines to attract our attention tickled my funny bones. two of them had stood in front of me and clearly, obviously taken my picture with their camera phones, or so my sister said. the security guard was cheeky too. yikes!

after changing up into dry clothes, we made our way to Mini Kelantan. mom bought baju Raya and a headscarf while my sister and I bought baju kurung. walking further, I saw this beautiful kebaya and there was no deterrent to getting it. haha. so that made me the largest spender among my family members. hah! as always.

the heat was excruciating and our stomachs were grumbling. we decided to head to the nearby Pizza Hut to have our overdue lunch. my uncle treated all of us. we ate as much as we could despite the lack of variety in choosing the pizzas. I thought we sat there for a rather long time. heh. after that, we went to Giant to get some home stuffs.

it was then that we were swinging from one extreme to the other, beginning with the sublime and ending in the tragic. observe: at the parking lot, the exhaust pipe of my cousin's car was leaking. so he drove it to a nearby car workshop. from 1700 to 2100 hours, we were waiting for the car to be fixed.

back in Singapore. relatives went up to my house for a while before they set for home.

...featuring my alter ego @ 8:32 PM

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

one more. just one more to go before this stressful period ends. momentarily though. I know it's boring to blog about exams all the time but what the hell, it's the exam period and I can't run away from it. so far, I don't have the much needed confidence in passing social studies (because I didn't finish the SBQ but hopefully history will help pull up my mark) and of course, amath. I wonder when will I pass the latter. sigh.

anyway, someone's been bugging me to meet him. I don't know how I should turn him down yet again but I don't want him to think that I'm... treating him like a stupid idiot? haha. whatever lah eh. mat-mat zaman sekarang. semua low-esteem. or maybe it's inferiority complex, things like that. what the hell? just because I'm like this and you're like that?

...featuring my alter ego @ 6:57 PM

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

physics paper was urm, ooook lah. I thought it was satisfactory as compared to midyear's. obviously because I didn't study for midyear, thinking that I was going to drop physics after midyear for sure. but I didn't. why? it was because I persevered. I knew that my lack of effort in studying physics bespoke my end result. so I tried to hang on, go through the basic stuff and take it from there. if I'm willing to work and if God's willing to help, anything can happen right?

I'm left with a few more papers to go before I can take a short break, then start mugging again for 'O' levels. I've to think positive from now on. one of my teachers once said that no exam is more important than the O's. I wonder how true that is but think, if you're going to apply for a job, what is one thing that the employer will ask for? yes, you've said it yourself.

...featuring my alter ego @ 1:52 PM

Saturday, September 10, 2005

it's a dismal that throughout these two years, I haven't once passed my amath exam. and I don't think i'll be able to create a miracle for the prelims. but o' levels...maybe? I'm not going to risk my other subjects just to spend more time on amath lah. when I grow up, I'm not going to be a mathematician anyway. gees. by the way, tomorrow will be the last day before prelims start. GOD help! I really am in deep shit. what could be a worse combination than social studies plus amath on the same day huh? and both are on the first day of the examination period! argh. I wish myself good luck though. note that I typed 'good luck' instead of 'all the best' because at this very moment, my attention is diverted to blogger rather that the social studies textbook. I can imagine myself writing my own social studies facts later on.

...featuring my alter ego @ 8:44 PM

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

I'm in a dillema yet again. which route should I take? JC or poly? sure, I can inquire about the advantages or disadvantages of being in either institutions from the JC/poly peeps but I'd rather not. that's just because I'm already sick of JC people condemning life in poly and talk about all the good things in the world about being in a college; and poly people condemning JC life and talk about all the good things in poly.

"Just shut up lah girl. Follow what your heart says and don't let those people influence you."

"But my heart is not saying anything?

...featuring my alter ego @ 10:38 PM