I've been having bad sleeping problems.

so bad that they are quite worthy of attention.

as usual I couldn't sleep last night and only slumbered at around 3am. woke up to eat an hour later due to my mother's high-pitched sing-song wake-up call.

sungguh membingitkan!

after my pre-dawn meal, I kept tossing and turning in bed and finally fell asleep at 7am, keeping in mind that I'll be waking up two hours later to get ready for work.

when it was time, Shaheed called but I didn't answer his call the first few times because I was bloody damn fucking sleepy. although the flesh was weak, the mind was willing so I still got up.

some more it was my first day taking real orders today. but I shan't elaborate on that because it wasn't a good experience due to external and internal factors.

teringat aku time belajar Social Studies dulu. hahaha.

anyway, the internal factor first. my period is around the corner and quite uniquely for me, I'll already start to display the symptoms of a premenstrual female even before my period is due.

and the only predictable behavioural trait during these dark days is overreaction to any given situation, whether it be with tears, fits of hysteria, anger or violence. those who know me well enough will know that whenever I'm angry, annoyed or anything of that sort, my temper will be uncontrollable. by then I won't be the normal, sweet and nice me anymore.

and the external factor was that some people were showing me their attitude. I feel sorry for them because they were showing their respective APs to the wrong person la eh. what's with guys and egotism and what's with girls and big mouth?

I swear my mood is still not too good right now. the handphone is switched off. the home calls are left unanswered. I'm keeping a distance from everyone lest they be my victims for venting my anger.

it's the fasting month but I still can't get hold of my emotions. I knew it wasn't right and it was useless to cry, but I cried a little anyway.